Complex Behaviour Of Love

Thursday, March 11, 2010 Jo Hanniffy 3 Comments

This morning, I found an old psychology's article in the bundle of other articles --- it's about evolutionary behaviour of a romantic love, and it's caught my attention instantly. 

How do you describe about a romantic love? I'm sure you find it easy to describe this. 

My lecture said that romantic love is a state that has evolved to keep people together, to want to have physical intimacy with each other and to believe the other is Mr/Mrs Right even though sequential filtering  means we are unlikely to end up with a 'perfect' partner, rather one that is as good as we can get! Primitive, powerful neurochemicals have evolved to 'fool' us, make us believe that the other is 'perfect'.

Yet, he added infatuation romantic love subsides around 8-10 months. And it is no coincidence that this is about the lenght of the gestation period. Evolved biological impulses change the highs of oxytocin and this change romantic love to companionate love....
What I'm thinking right now is, does he mean that after 8 to 10 months there will be no romantic love at all? 

I find many very nice outlooks in Ireland when I walk on the road and see how romantic a couple of seniors walk hand to hand; what kind of this romantic can be called? a romantic love in the late age?

There certainly are many factors that involve if someone is able to keep there's relationship romantic ---- or the romantic love just end up in 8 to 10 months, and change to companioate love. Apart of biological things, other factors are also evoking how the person attract and relate to other people, for instance proximity, similiarity, familiarity, reciprocal self-disclosure, misattribution, etc.

Accordingly, then how can we so be emotionaly at the very beginning when we're in love with somebody? What are things evoking the feeling, or the ego to lead the feelings only to that person? and what things are made them change?

According to this psychologists have explained that this occurs due to evolutionary influences; that people change because of the factors already mentioned above.

Yet, complex behaviour attach from other factors such as innate monotropy, signs of ensuring attachment ensuring survival.

Last but not leat,early relationship forming a template for later attachment relationships. In the other words, if you want to asses how your relationship will be going in the future; then see how your relationship looks like at the beginning.

DBLN, 12.07-110310

Photo source: Djearworm.Com


  1. Menurutku, hubungan apapun pasti ada naik turunnya, karena emosi manusia emang naik turun.
    Tinggal bagaimana kita mengarahkan kembali hubungan itu pada jalurnya kembali.

  2. Iya sih.., seringkali kita sangat menggebu-gebu untuk mendapatkan sesuatu, tapi setelah hal itu diperoleh... lambat laun minat kita jadi menurun. Itu berlaku untuk semua hal kan..? Tapi bukan berarti minat itu hilang sama sekali, hanya saja perhatian kita kemudian beralih pada hal lainnya.

    Eh.., bener gak ya..? hihihi

  3. hah,only 8-10 months jeng? isn't that too short? hehehe


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