Discipline Versus Punishment

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 Jo Hanniffy 0 Comments

I've just found an interesting book on my bookcase in the living room by accident, its a book of parental guide that was bought nearly three years ago. 

Having this book, the "Raising Happy Children" book, since I studied for Child Psychology Diploma some years ago, in which only fiew pages had been read and it haven't been opened again until today :). 

The book seems very beneficial for parents, professionals, and even childminders, as it informs about how to educate them, and to be well-informed in how to raise children and not just in the parents' rights but also thoughtful and right for both sides.

Among the four hundreds and seven pages of this book that written by Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson, there is a page that very amuse me, is considering 'Effective Discipline'. It leads me to downsize why kids sometimes have difficulty to behave better.

Through this posting, I'd like to concern oneself in a child case, a boy whom I've met several times named Dave. Dave is a very amusing boy. Like other boy of three, he likes to challenge his surroundings with his 'ingenuity'. Dave appears to experience with his parents unhappy relationship (this is obvious as her mother told me about her wishes  so that her husband spend more times with the family).

Some of his behaviours leads to the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), such as Dave appears to difficult to listen what people said to him, he even avoid to whatever has been told, and would give over if her mom punish him. In addition, he unhesitant to give inappropriate comment like the 'F' word. This is believed that his word is often coming from his dad. Definiteivelly, most of his behaviours  are the replica of  his parents' behaviours.

Instead of attempt to discipline Dave, his mom prefer to threat him with a punishment which it only raise  the fearlessly (defensive and implacable)  toward his mom.
It seems obvious to conclude why Dave's misbehaviour uneasy to change. The mother's punishments when saying: "I'll throw you out of the window, or "I'll put you in the toilet", are defintely not frightening him at all because he knows already that his mom wouldn't do that.
I concern to Dave's case, yearn to what his personality in the future would like. It touchs my inner knowledge as student of psychology as well as mother, and a thought that parents responsibility aren't merely about feeding and dressing them, because each stage of their development is primal for the sake of their future personality.
Parents or adult behaviours are likely a mirror for children, anything that told and done by  us is a epitomize for them. So if we wonder why our child like to shout all the time or fight with their friends quite often, then we may need to look at ourselves, have we done something wrong to ourselves which make them like to imitate us?

DBLN, 17.11-210311


Nice saying shows your character but that doesn't mean you can criticize. You can still do both in nice and polite way.

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