Eastern Versus Western In Relationship

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 JS Hanniffy 0 Comments

My English teacher gave an interesting discussion in the class yesterday. The discussion was about relationship. He put nine words randomly on the cupboard, which was the words were related to relatioship discussion, and then asked us how those nine words should be patterned before the couple get into a relatioship.

Here are those nine words: Meet, Break up, Falling in love, Get on well, Keep in touch, Stay friends,  Getting to know each other, Go out together, and Argue. 

Most of us gave similiar answers which the break up was come at the end of the pattern. However, according to him the right  pattern of a relationship as follow: 1. Meet, 2. Get to know each other, 3. Get on well, 4. Go out together, 5. Falling in love, 6. Argue, 7. Break up, 8. Stay friends, 9. Keep in touch. 

That's Irish version about before you get into a relationship, or perhaps western version too which this is quite the opposite of relationships I've ever known in Indonesia. In fact people could decide to get married with only a fiew bumps, like meet on the internet and then get out together for a couple of times is a usual phenomena, and after no less than one year they decide to down the altar.  That's not worst at all, most of them are proud of what they do - it's an extraordinary relatioship for them!

So according to the Indonesian's pattern version it would be as follow: 1. Get to know each other (internet)/Meet: this could include argue as well, 2. Falling in love, 3. Keep in touch 5. Get on well   6. Meet, 7. Break up.

Don't feel offended if you have experience like above -- what I'm saying here is congratulations to you if you can get along in your relatioship! Not so many people can do that (like me!). Honestly, as I won't, and can't take a risk to jump into a marriage with someone I know from the internet, or have only known him for less than a year. A big thing will need a big heart to brave enough up against the possible risk. So again, congratulations :)!

For singles, you can consider this that for a healthy relationship it will need a lot  of steps to get down before  the three words are said by to you both. I know that some people can get along with short-term  relationship and then get married, but how many of them break up from this short-term relationship? The short-term relationship won't be enough to give you time to know each other's personalities better. So that there won't be from a lover become an enemy as we always find in Indonesia, long-term relatioship has better value for healthy relationship in the future. How many marriage couples in Indonesia who get divorce and they stay friends? I don't find one, do you?

But  not in Ireland. Most people who break up or divorce are able to stay friends and keep in touch with others. I wonder why people in Ireland have a slow step to get into a relationship but very well to cope the pieces of their broken heart, I mean to stay friends with their ex-partner. 

Whether it because they have better insight than us or the influence of culture on attitude that distinguish the way we think about relationship.

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