Is It Alright To Punish Your Children?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 Jo Hanniffy 0 Comments

Children's behaviours tend to amuse their surroundings. Whether he/she looks so cute or he/she speaks smooth-talking, they're always able to attract people around them. 

But also in the same time they can be very miffed that might challenge our tempers, children of three up to sixth are tend to be the most challenging years for most parents in raising child. 

Perhaps all years of child stages are uneasy for most parents. 

Mostly parents would do two things when they meet a difficult situation with their children, either they punish them or leave them alone. 

Some kids sometimes very easy to please, but when I met Dave's mother (see the previous posting), I've found an affect about a responsibilty as parents, that parents existence are not merely about feeding and dressing them.

But I hear someone says: "we all are just human beings too who can sometimes can lose control" --- that's absolutely right. So that will be our main issue, as parents, not to lose control while dealing with difficult situation.

According to Jans' Parker and Stimpson on their "Raising Happy Children", a punishment is a weapon and it won't work to change their behaviours permanently. In addition, it likely a game to them of how not being caught. 

In fact, a punishment only making worst our children's behaviour. Such as Dave, his mother punishment did not fright him to resist his mother. The more his mother punish him the more he became implacable. And then the result was the hardest punishment  was given ! and it gave him up not to be an implacable boy --- he didn't undestand the consequence of being punished. He stopped for being a bad because he knew he wouldn't win his mother punishment.

Nobody likes punishment. Neither you nor the children. Think again. How your feeling when your child punish you to require something --- do you feel nice? I don't think so. The same to your child.

Discipline is not the same as  punishment. As Jans' have said discipline is teaching the children to understand their feelings, other feelings, undertanding what right and wrong in their behaviours. While punishment is only  a frightened and remains nothing except they redone it some other times. 

Try to focus on what causes your child misbehave might help your  difficult situation with your children. No matter how hard you try not to lose temper it might not work if you don't co-operation with your child. Don't you think a conversation is best solution to end a 'war'? Don't ever think that a child can't have a conversation!

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Nice saying shows your character but that doesn't mean you can criticize. You can still do both in nice and polite way.

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