Hysteria (3)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011 Unknown 0 Comments

She's in her mid-30s, married to a man who has broken her heart so many times. Since I met her, she has become a 'special' friend to me. Her odd behaviour/attitude has brought me to do a self-observation. 

The self-observation first began from her introverted attitude, she has difficulty to get along with new people, her unfriendly attitude very obvious, specially to those people who she just meet.  And that's kind of like a challenge for me to know the real of her.

She's not the first woman who come to me telling about black memories from the past, so I wasn't really surprised when I heard her first confession about her unhappy feelings towards her husband.  Every so often her voice would raise when a bad part emerges.

The most interesting during my observation is her unconscious and resistants, particularly when she speaks. She knows when something not suppose to say, she would deliver it unconsiously.

Every so often her words delivered in unclear expressions; unable to show her feelings with a right expression, like when she commented about my appearance, she displaced her 'true' thought toward me into somebody's opinion, and yet her face changed in an odd expression, kind of like a reaction formation* --- between hate and love.

*Her expression reminds me of  Rat Man case when he told a story to Freud about  activity torture  to a rabit which did by souldiers. According to Freud he had shown an odd expression: expression between enjoying the story and feeling disgustful.

I come with a conclusion about her odd expression: she was actually hating me by not listened to her as I (pretended) was transparently rejecting her opinions; nevertheless, in the same time she wanted me to help her to out of her 'complexity'.

I did little bit self experiementation during my trip with her, and make it looks so natural. I intentionally led her to an opinion about many things.

When I alluded to a person, whom, I think she dislikes the person, her attention stood only for no less than 1 minute and then she began to looked at another view (didn't look at me directly and doing this frequently). Also, her face is very easy to change when she's unhappy about a thing.

My natural observation takes only two months but I get a lot of good things to learn during observation -- specially for my study about hysteria.

Uunfortunately, I've decided to discontinue the observation for some reasons. The case remains unresolved.

 DBLN, 20.20-190411

Blogger since 2008, writing with a fresh perspective.

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