Why We Lie

Thursday, April 14, 2011 Jo Hanniffy 0 Comments

"Telling lies is part of everyday life" said my teacher one day in the class, he also added: "and it's normal". The latter of his consideration slightly hounding although he is likely 'right' in this case, but I'm kind of disagreed with him in the latter comment. 

Norm is my reason not to back up the latter comment as I become worries now about anything I see and hear. And my question regarding to this issue is: where do 'the lies' come from?

There many factors provoke us to tell a lie. But what people often do is they always back up their lies with unconditional reasons. 

For example, a marriage couple had been together for very long time. Unfortunately, the man had fallen for another woman and apparently had a secret relationship. He kept the secret until one day his wife found about it. The man tried to defensed himself by saying: "I lie because I don't want to hurt you". 

Although it sounds like a pathetic loser -- as he knew exactly what would happen if he/she didn't/did tell the truth, so what the point of lying? -- he still able to defensed himself despite he knew how wrongly he was.

Speaking of defense, it reminds me of defence mechanism, which was first coinned by Freud, who, inferred that self-defense is usually used to cope a person's images, the attempts to avoid chugrin, usually something from the past. 

Furthermore, he gave point which I think it reffers to my question, that defence mechanisms derived from a person's psyche structure, which according to Freud it consists of The id, ego, and superego. As it's hard enough for me to explain these three things, so I could only explain as clear as possible. 

The id  believed by Freud as kind of childish behaviour or attitude e.g. stubborn can be called childish sometimes. 

However, doesn't mean adults don't have id (remember the example story above). As id is selfish and primitive, that's why it appears frequently in unconsious events.

Thanking Freud, it's not all bad about human psyche, we still have superego which prevent or provoke us for doing wrong or right, and this depends on how our parents and surroundings instance the kindness and unkindness.

Let's leave Freud's analysis here, and let me give you another story.

I was told by a new friend of mine a gossip about me, she said my husband had met a person that we weren't actually buying the house where we live now, which is this person told a lie. 

I'm not interested in knowing the person but curious to know what has provoked the person for lying as she/he definitely doesn't know about me at all.  

Back to Freud, if I refer this to Freud's analysis, this person doesn't look have healthy criteria of psyche structure. Instead, I see only the id from this person. 

Lying is apparently stronger than honesty.

DBLN, 22.19-13-411

Blogger since 2008, writing with a fresh perspective.

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