Just Married?

Saturday, May 07, 2011 Jo Hanniffy 0 Comments

Interested in reviewing this issue, Divorce,  which posted in May 2009. The writing was originally inspired from some friends who were most women, concerning how badly marriage and divorce laws in Indonesia. 

As my friends, I also have special concerns to this issue, specially divorce cases in Indonesia, and therefore I  have some point of views about  the cause-effect of divorce .

Aside from a speculation that the primary cause for divorce is because the couple differ from each other anymore, there also causal  which connectives with culture, religion, and laws factors. 
Since often incure trips to diffrent country, I'm interested in learning  relationship style from different country, and I find  most people in Europe have much more broadminded and valuing a relationship than Indonesia.  

This isn't a bias judgment of mine as I've done a little research in this environment issue case study in years.

For example, in Ireland, such as having a serious relationship isn't easy to implemented,  even just want to say the special three words of "I love you", a man could suspend it for years before it comes out of his mouth. 

And most couples will take time together longer before they decide to get married, which this the opposite what happens in Indonesia. 

Society in Indonesia still commits old fashion considering a marriage, that getting married and having kids is a crucial part of life. 

Ironically, most young couples decide to get married without considering its consequences ; it seems just another consideration to think later.

Here is just one of thousand examples how unimportant the consequences of marriage in an unemployeed man's viewpoint.  

I have a marriage couple with five kids in my house, they look after my house in Pemalang since 2007, before I took them to work in my house, they had a desperate life. The  marriage couple have three kids, the youngest child aged 8 months, and the oldest aged 9 yo, yet the wife had twins babies pregnancy.

The man used to work as 'tukang becak', and off course with very little income. With that little income, he  surely need perquisite, unfortunately he found no jobs to keep them survive from hunger. Instead of thinking how to reduce his life problems, he added another problem instead, was by having new babies again.

See what I mean by no consequences?  

And situation likes story above found in city or country society. It seems no ways for getting out of a philosophy  that "banyak anak banyak rejeki", in other words, the belief of having many kids will bring fortunes is still exist.

Here is the thing, if in rich Europe country, children get welfare from  government, so if you have many kids you have advantage to get more welfares.

But different in Indonesia, welfare goes more to wealthy society.

Meanwhile family plays apart in deciding to get married, even divorce decision sometimes;  but every so often happens when couple decide to get married assigns of the family persuasion. 

This underpine condition, if based on inferiority supports could lead such as a dissaster in marriage couple.

My point is, marriage isn't just about a paper signed by both parties. It's a huge deal to think about.

DBLN, 16.14-050511


Nice saying shows your character but that doesn't mean you can criticize. You can still do both in nice and polite way.

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