Rusty

Thursday, November 24, 2011 JS Hanniffy 0 Comments

"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you. You will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be". ~John Heywood quotes~

Yesterday, my mood was down to basic level which this very rarely happen to me (true!) - only happens since --- I can't really remember . And as usual the only person to place this feeling is my hubby; so I text him and saying how wearily I was. 

As his usual attitude, he replied me with positive words, but still didn't make feel better, I even grumble after reading his text: "arrghh, you don't understand how depress I am!!" - talking to myself  like he was there. I told myself I could go crazy if I let myself down, I really need a friend to talk, so I called a friend who lives in Ireland - just after unsuccessful calling my friend in Indonesia (so Ratu, you know now why I called you yesterday).


The conversation with my friend a bit made me feel better (although we don't really close to each other, we just know about a year ago in my friend's party) - she actually has the same situation as I have, so that spunk me to share what I felt. Probably because she's more mature than me so she carry a problem much better than me.

I don't actually have problems at all, my mind kinda stuck on a small dark cave and is looking a way to get out of there; the small dark cave (and I have to tell this over and over again) is the f****g 'routines life' that makes me lack interests in everything - and I'm not a type of person who like doing the routines, I mean I really really don't do it. And the only main routine that I have to do in my life is going to college!

So when the times come as a housewife, everything becomes totally different. I know very much about the housewife duties - mostly Indonesian women have been taught by their mothers housewife duties since their very young age, so housewife duties isn't a problem at all for me until...

I don't enjoy anymore doing things: everything seems boring. The thing like cooking (that I like most) seems like a torture activity for me; the college that usually makes me enthusiasm become so stressful (even just think of it) - so I'm totally lost.

But I must keep going...

And changing my attitude - because I have great people who love me very much and shouldn't be disappointed because of me.  

As like what I said to my friend on the phone yesterday, it gives some time alright to find something is 'right':

To think rightly
To do rightly

Right that comfort my mind. These right things are somewhere out there and I haven't find them yet. So I tell my friend: "let's do something, we need to get out of this situation, and no rush".

DBLN, 22.48-231111

Blogger since 2008, writing with a fresh perspective.

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