13 Mar 2012

Why Is Respect So Hard To Give?

venki-thelastbreathe.blogspot.com



From century to century we've been taught by our ancestor to have respect of others. Whether its their lives, their opinions, their backgrounds, etc, respect is very crucial for the harmony while living in differences.  Can you imagine life without respect? 

Respect. It's really a simple thought but so many people find struggling to do it, particularly when it comes to accept other people's opinion - it seems that there is no way to put the respect in the context. 

Why is respect so hard to give?

Culture background, education, gen, neurons psychological, and the condition mental health of the person - I believe those are count to be the main reasons why we like judging other people, making black and white with the out groups, suspicious, and nothing good about the outsiders but bad.

I remember a comedy film that I watched just two days ago, and its inspired me to put here, that there are two types of people in this world, the bad and the good people. 

In psychology, the bad or  the good people mean the out group and the in group - depends on where and  who you stand with; we often see other people as outsiders when they are not the same as us.

However, if we meet with the type stubborn person with their opinion, like to make personal judgment, and can't speak nicely, so the only good thing we can do is not to judge them back. Try to make the conversation is calm as cucumber. 

It's not easy not to against their opinion, but fighting them will not going to anywhere and won't be ended nicely. Judger hate if their opinions rejected and like to be followed by others. They won't stop until they win, or at least embarrassing you in public.

This is why war happens - it's the outcome of losing respect to others.

We're all different

We know this. The thing is we don't really know how to accept it. When somebody came up with a different  thought from us, automatically our self-defense will guards our opinion to safe from those 'betrayers'. Even sometimes we find ourselves foolhardy by attacking their personal life and judging them - which makes the discussion out of the box.

Respecting other people's opinion doesn't mean we can't discuss - we can still argue about other people's opinion, but in healthy way. And this can be done only by accepting theirs. Accepting doesn't mean abandoned yours, we can still value theirs and ours, and composite them.

Don't forget also about  our self-image as this is one of the outcomes why we can't respect to other people's opinion. Once the self-image patterns in our head then it led to the negative images about others. 

Self- images comes in nature, if we can't control them then we never win anything. The key is subjugate yourself.


dbln, 14.42-130312





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